Unrelenting Rain
by SoftRains
Summary: "Jumping will solve nothing." His eyes were blazing. This just confused me. Why was he angry? He wasn't the one who was being used as a bargaining chip. Rated M, mostly for language.
1. Crying in the Rain

A/N This is a Sano/Kaoru pairing. Hope you like it.

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><p>"So this is it?" The rain was dripping down both of our faces, concealing my tears and cooling his anger. "You're just going to run away?" He sneered out the last part, trying to get a reaction. I knew he was trying to scare me. That wouldn't work; I'd been around enough to people to know his words were just hot air, an exaggerated scare tactic.<p>

I shook my head, trying to keep a calm front. I couldn't break down, I couldn't lose my nerve. I couldn't back down. Not now. Maybe he would go away if I didn't show any frailness. Maybe if he wasn't such a stubborn person.

I was breathing so loudly, my lungs echoing in my chest, my heart only adding to the noise, threatening to practically burst. I needed to calm down. This was just mind over body, if I lost this battle it would just be pathetic. One more step and I could be free, I could be the one to control my fate. _Take that body._

"Jumping will solve nothing." His eyes were blazing. This just confused me. _Why was he angry? He wasn't the one who was being used as a bargaining chip._

"I thought you were stronger than this." The smirk on his face was obvious. My breathing stopped. Why did this man know all of my weakness? Oh wait, I mentally slapped myself. I was the one who had told him, years ago.

"Even in hell you won't be able to escape me." Now his toothy, feral grin was unconcealed. He getting closer, I was being cornered. He seemed fairly confident in dragging me back to my father.

With a swift upwards motion he hefted himself onto the ledge, this was bad. He was closing the distance between us, and I had no way out. I was the one between a rock and a hard place.

"I'll jump." I warned. This was my last trump card, if I could get him to back away. Just a little bit, and then I would have a chance of escape.

He only snorted at my threat, and stepped even closer. My trump card was useless. I was quicker, a lot quicker than him, but there was no way I could overpower him. My window of opportunity was closing. Now I was keeping my gaze level, I refused to tilt my head to look up at him. Possibly he would see me as a cornered animal and keep his distance.

"Kaoru, is it that such bad a thing?" His breath faltered. "Would it really be that terrible to marry me?" He was pleading, begging. I could just hear it in his voice.

Now I looked up, and my resolve all but turned to dust. Sano was crying. This wasn't supposed to happen, Sano wasn't supposed to cry. I was the one who had caused him to cry.

"Please, I know you're being forced into this. I know this isn't what you want, but I love you." I touched his face. It felt real. This couldn't be real. This had to be a dream.

My own tears were threatening to make a reoccurrence now.

This couldn't be happening. Sano, my best friend since childhood, the brother I never had, the son of my father's business partner loved me. Not as a good friend, or even a sister, but as a woman.

He loved _me_. That phrase seemed to repeat in my mind, ingraining itself deeper every time. Time seemed to stop.

Jolting me out of my self-induced stupor I felt his fingers interlacing with the ones on his face. They were pleasantly warm, probably a byproduct of his hot headedness.

What scared me the most was his expression, he looked like the puppy that had been kicked one too many times. That was his trump card, the face that could bend anybody's will. Sano squeezed my hand gently and I knew I had just lost.

I knew I would cave, that I would let myself be dragged home, that I would ungracefully accept my marriage, allow Sano to love me, and in a matter of time, fall in love with Sano.

The rain wasn't helping my thought process much either. The way the droplets pounded on the top of my head and rolled down my neck washed away my concentration. We were both also soaked to the skin and I knew I'd probably have a lingering cold by the end of this week.

It only took one more glance at his doleful face to resign myself to fate. To accept that things would never go back to the way they were, but that was the past, and sometimes I had to let the past go.

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><p>So did you like it? Reviews appreciated.<p> 


	2. Picking at the Scabs

A/N- Hey I'm back! I'm pretty sure that at this point I can't guarantee linear updates...failwhale! Anyways, without further adieu chapter two!

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><p>My hand practically froze around the doorknob, the cool metal was begging me to turn it, but I just couldn't do it. Whether it was mental or physical the muscles in my hand wouldn't <em>or couldn't.<em> Maybe this was just one of those mind over body sort of thing. If that was the case then my mind was kicking butt.

If I opened the door then there was no turning back, once I stepped into Sano's apartment it would become my apartment, and in turn, my home. This wasn't something I could just run away from; it wasn't a game that I was playing just for kicks. There was no way I could betray Sano like that.

Sano seemed to have a nose for fear because he caught onto mine in a flash.

"I can't believe this. You have the courage to run away from home, nearly jump off a bridge into a running river, come back with only a cold, stare down your father, the legendary Hiko Seijuro, and even dare to spill sake on MY MOTHER. ON OUR WEDDING DAY. "Sano seemed quite out of breath, but that didn't stop his efforts at dragging the skeletons out of the closet.

"What are you afraid of? What in the world is scaring you?" _Damn._ It wasn't fair. He was using those eyes again. I hated those vulnerable puppy-dog eyes because they could make me do anything, and it was my turn to be defenseless.

"A relationship, okay?" My voice barely reached a whisper.

"We already agreed on doing nothing until you're ready, and I'm not going to force myself on y-"He rambled on like a prepubescent boy who had just been discovered with porn. I stopped him with a glare. Of course Sano was going to think that this was about sex.

"No, I'm not afraid about the physical requirements of our marriage. I'm afraid of a relationship, a real one." I corrected. Now that I thought about it Sano was probably right to think about sex, his mother had been badgering him about it in hushed tones recently. After all it wouldn't do for the only male Sagara to be heirless, or worse, gay. The thought of Sano's mother Megumi discovering either one would be frightening, but priceless. Thankfully Sano wasn't gay.

"I love you. You know that, right?" I rolled my eyes as his interruption derailed my train of thought.

"Yes Sano, when have you ever ceased to remind me so?" I teased back. He still seemed pretty indignant from my first answer so I elaborated. "Entering a relationship means depending on someone else, trusting them, and hoping that they'll do the same. It's something I haven't done in a while."

I let out a surprised squeak when his arms encircled my waist, drawing me closer.

"You know, one lie, and my fingers will fly." As if to prove his statement his left hand intertwined with mine and his right gently pried my frozen fingers off of the awaiting doorknob.

I let myself fall, leaning my weight into Sano's chest. Maybe if I trusted someone else I wouldn't get hurt for once, or maybe if I trusted the scars in heart would become even more intricate.

He seemed surprised by our sudden vicinity, possibly if I turned my head I could hear his heart pounding furiously against his chest.

"Both of us know that Father discontinued that sort of discipline years ago. He said it was too conspicuous, besides broken arms are much, much easier to fix." Maybe it was it was my turn to tease Sano. I tilted my head up, breathing into his ear.

"It'd be a pity to lose all your fingers don't ya think? After all there are much better _uses_ _for your fingers_." I looked up at his face. Success, he was bright red.

"Embarrassed? Don't tell me that you're a virgin?" The way he stopped breathing confirmed it. Sano wouldn't be one for much longer, so I figured now would e the best time to take advantage of it.

"Don't tell me that you haven't even kissed a girl." I accompanied my teasing by blowing hot air into his ear. He shivered. "Was I the first girl you even held hands with? Do I have the privilege of taking away **all** of your firsts? I'm honestly quite flattered."

Sano's expression was dazed. I probably struck the nail on the head; Sano was definitely more of a virgin than me.

As if to protect himself from my words he physically pushed me away. Curiously I turned around to look at Sano's face again. Instead of red cheeks I was greeted with a furrowed brow. My mistake, Sano wasn't embarrassed, he was livid. _Crap. Looks like I just stepped on a landmine._ And I was thus acknowledged with an onslaught of words.

"So what if you're the only girl that I've ever actually even remotely liked? It doesn't matter to me. I DON'T GIVE A SHIT THAT MOST OF YOUR FIRSTS WERE DONE WITH THAT SON OF A BITCH BASTARD." I winced. "What I do care about, is that right now **you're mine,** and even though you don't love me, **I know **I can make you fall in love with me." His eyes were no longer pleading, they were demanding.

"Sano I- "Suddenly a warm mouth was covering mine. _This can't be happening._ Trying to push him away I clutched the front of his shirt, instead I found my wrist pinned above my head, seems like struggling only incited him.

Surprisingly his aggressive advances turned gentle. I kinda liked the way his mouth made me feel like melting, and tentatively I responded with a lot less ardor, not even realizing my actions, with shy movement my lips moved in response to his.

Sano's POV

"So what if you're the only girl that I've ever actually even remotely liked? It doesn't matter to me." Why didn't she understand? That, when I told her I loved her I wasn't giving some half-assed attempt to get her guard down, I actually meant what I said I didn't care how dirty or tainted she thought she was, cause Kaoru was Kaoru. Nothing would ever change that fact, and Kaoru was all I needed.

"I DON'T GIVE A SHIT THAT MOST OF YOUR FIRSTS WERE DONE WITH THAT SON OF A BITCH BASTARD." Sometimes the words that needed to be said the most also hurt the worst, and if I looked into Kaoru's eyes I'd never be able to forgive myself.

"What I do care about, is that right now **you're mine,** and even though you don't love me, **I know **I can make you fall in love with me." Now, I could face her eyes. First there was confusion, then understanding, then pity. She though, that she was a lost cause, far too damaged to love again. "Sano I-" No, I wouldn't let her have her way, this time I would show her I was more than just words and empty promises. Kaoru just needed to know how much I needed her-

Why was my mouth on her-

What? Logical reasoning went over my head and out the window, once I felt how soft her lips were. Now it was just a raw animalistic need. I felt her arms gripping the front of my shirt, wrinkling the fabric, trying to push me away. Then they weren't.

All that really mattered right now was Kaoru. Maybe this is how people described drowning in love.

Kaoru was kissing me back?

Kaoru was kissing me back!

Sure they were annoyingly gentle, like tiny whispers. Sure they were really sort of clumsy, but I found them enduring and it was Kaoru, which made it so much better.

Kaoru POV

What was happening? Why was I responding? My lips ghosted over his as if silently defying my will.

The manacles on my wrists slackened, and the kiss was parted.

_Why is he smirking? That asshole, wait till he found himself castrated._

"Still scared of a relationship? Cause I think we can make this work." His gaze was uncomfortable, piercing and seemed to make the scars I'd hidden long ago bleed fresh again.

I needed escape.

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><p>Review? Please? :3<p>

**A/N-edited 5/11/12, I noticed a spelling mistake :P**


	3. Cheeky Little Brothers

A/N- Umm I updated sooner than I expected, I hope you guys don't mind that it's short. Also mature language!

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><p>"Seriously? My sister locked you out of your own apartment? Dude, that's weaksauce, it's been only a day and she already has you pussy whipped." Even over the phone I could tell Yahiko was doing his best to stifle his laughter and amusement. No doubt he would always hold this over my head for the rest of eternity, or until he got 'pussy whipped' by Tsubame.<p>

"Well you probably deserved it, right?" There was a light tone of accusation in his voice. I couldn't help but agree with him, I got off practically scot-free.

"I'm surprised that your sister hasn't castrated me yet."

"Kaoru wouldn't cut off you balls for nothing. What'd you even do?" The accusation was replaced with curiosity.

"Threw her against the wall and kissed the lights out of her." Now the smirk on my face was undeniable, if only I we were face to face right now.

"EWWEWEWEWWW! Dude, that's just gross." Now I could imagine Yahiko pouring sulfuric acid down his ears in an attempt to clean them out.

"So why'd you even call me, besides to divulge your explosive sex life?" There was a pregnant pause before I finally disclosed my embarrassment.

"I forgot where I stashed my spare."

"Dude that's totally w- " I knew where he was going before he even completed the word.

"I know. Weaksauce. Can you just tell me where I put my spare?" My patience was wearing thin, if that kid said weaksauce one more time, the consequences be damned, I'd just kick down the door instead.

"Calm your hashes bro, you know that ugly plant by the doorway?"

"Yes." I had no idea where this was going, but at least the brat was being cooperative.

"Well uproot it and you'll find the key." Well even if I didn't remember it, I certainly was creative in storing my spare.

"Thanks kid."

"Don't call me kid, and try not to piss sis off too much."

"Bye brat."

Kaoru POV

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I could do a fake relationship, one with false affection and mutual respect, but not this. This was just too real, too intense, too much. Sano saw me for who I was, and whenever I just wanted to be left alone he always dragged me out of the shadows. Sano kept me grounded, kept me from fading away. Sometimes there was just too much of him all at once.

I blushed thinking about the kiss. _Whatever I can face him._

I opened the door to Sano viciously grabbing the thick woody base of a potted plant and jerking it out of its confines.

"Um Sano… What are you doing?" I was by no means a fan of the ugly plant, but this seemed quite eccentric, even for butt ugly plants.

"Looking for my spare, what else?" He answered it as if it was natural to deposit his house-keys six inches under dirt.

"Well knocking is certainly an easier option."

"And you would have let me in?" I bit my bottom lip, okay I might not of.

"The spare isn't buried like pirate treasure, so you just made a mess for nothing." I gestured to the ochre soil, now besprinkled on the tiles.

"Yahiko." He growled like a feral dog. "That kid is dead meat."I patted Sano on the head; it was the only compensation I could give for someone who had just been hoodwinked by a fifteen year-old. I like the way his hair felt, it looked rough and ragged look from a distance, but once you ran your fingers through it, his hair was like long dog fur.

"Enjoying yourself?" His eyes had a mischievous glint to them, as if he enjoyed flustering me every turn of the way. Too bad for him, I wouldn't blush that easily.

"Don't forget to clean-up roosterhead." I swatted his head for emphasis. "I'm going to go unpack." This time I shut the door, remembering to keep it unlocked.

30 Minutes Later…

"Hey Kaoru, done yet?"

"Of course not, have you seen the sheer amount of kitchen appliances that we got as wedding presents?" Sano's previously barren kitchen was now filled with stainless steel bowls, ornate chopsticks, and other useless things like a combination toaster oven. I bet a majority of well-wishers only gave such frivolous presents as an elaborate joke.

Everyone knew I couldn't cook, bake, boil or even microwave without summoning the local fire department to my house. After Kenshin attempted to teach me, everyone knew any future cooking attempts would be hopeless.

No. Why was I even thinking about him? Forget it, forget this, just forget, and let the memories fade. Maybe if I repeated this mantra it would actually come true for once.

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><p>Review? Please? -insert image of me begging- :3<p> 


	4. Sweetly Broken

A/N- Well I apologize for the lack of linear updates, but it's progress? I guess... I'm going to change the pairing and just have Kaoru, because of reasons that I will disclose in the future. **WARNING **there is a slight lemon scene- well not really, but yeah... Also there is also some vulgar language, mostly from Kaoru I think. Enjoy darlings.

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><p>I touched his face, not believing this was real. People always said that seeing was indeed believing, but for all I knew this could all just be an elaborate dream, stimulation for painful memories and hopes.<p>

His feminine figure was identical from memory, solid frame, yet frustratingly slim waist. No matter where he was, reality or dreams, he was still a pipsqueak like me. A comforting thought indeed. His hair was still an adequate object of envy, deep red and girlishly long. Maybe this was just a delusion, easily differentiated from the real by another sense. I felt the grooves on his cheek, the cross-shaped scar marring his skin. This was too real to be a dream. There was just too much detail.

His violet eyes were apologetic as they stared back into my tear-stained face.

I looked back at him wanting to tell him everything, but not even knowing where to begin.

"Kenshin…" I whispered, barely audible, afraid that speaking a decibel louder would shatter this frail reality. Maybe this time he would stay. For me.

Instead of pushing me away he pulled me closer, into an embrace. It felt warm. Safe and warm. When the hug loosened I curiously looked up.

"I'm sorry Kaoru, but I don't think that I'm making you happy." This time around his soft lavender eyes were brimming with tears. He was crying, but I couldn't breathe. My chest was constricting, it was like dying a second time over. _Why would he come back? Just to tell me that?_

"If you don't make me happy then-"my voice faltered, reluctant to point out the obvious. "-then why are we both crying?" I finished.

Not only was Kenshin crying silently, but his hands were balled up, trembling. For the first time in years he looked like the terrified twelve year old child who had collapsed in front of my house so, so many years ago.

I bet that I didn't look much better either. By now my face was most likely transformed into a puffy red mass of salty water, _just from a couple words. _

I wasn't going to let him leave and walk out of my life, not again.

Actions apparently meant more than words, so why not let my action speak for itself? Pulling him closer by the collar of his shirt I stole a chaste kiss from his lips, until he decided to go deeper. His tongue probed for an entrance, swiping itself on my bottom lip, and I allowed.

As compensation I yanked on a fistful of his scarlet hair, drawing both of us closer. Greedily I pulled him in such proximity that personal space no longer existed. Once the contact broke I could only taste air again.

"Please-please don't go-don't disappear-not again. Its not-it's not true, it's a lie... You make me happy, you make me so happy…" By now I was blubbering. My pleading was going through a turn of desperation with every minute. I needed him.

"Sano loves you, you're married to him now." His tone reminded me of a parent chiding a child. Except my father was one of a kind, and I wasn't a child. Not anymore.

"NO. You don't understand." I almost winced at how much I felt like a hormone-laden, love struck idiot.

If only I could love Sano, then maybe I could get over the whole 'married ordeal and forget about that red-haired jerk.

"I know he loves me!-I know that!" The frustration was killing me, I wanted to die.

Why did all men always have to be such simple minded dimwits?

"The problem is that I LOVE YOU. I can't love Sano because **I love you.-**I love you so much that it hurts- it fucking hurts to love you." I weakly thumped him in the chest, as if my confession had drained my strength dry.

Gingerly he unwinded my fingers from his hair. The silence was nearing unbearable and the pall had already stretched on for several minutes.

I wanted him to say something. Why wasn't he saying anything?

I began to prepare to scream a barrage of questions and accusations, dead set on getting a reaction, no matter the method of interrogation I used.

Then without warning Kenshin started fading. The opaque quality of Kenshin had been rendered translucent and nonexistent. Kenshin was literally fading into the air.

I lunged forward to keep him with me, even for a moment, but it was too late. One again the infamous Himura Kenshin had disappeared.

So it was just a dream, an impossibly real dream. Looked like even my subconscious, dreaming, barely lucid mind liked to torture me.

X-X-X

"Kaoru? Kaoruuuuuuu?" A distant voice was pulling me out. Nagging me back sensibility, to realism. "Kaoru?" The voice sounded desperate, or maybe impatient. Why wouldn't the voice the voice leave me alone and stop creating noise? "KAORU!"

That jolted me awake, back into reality. Groggily I forced my eyelids open. They were surprisingly heavy.

"Wha time-what time is it?"

"Two in the morning." The voice was curt and seemed to place emphasis on the unit two.

I nearly flew up in a rage.

"Why did you wake me up at frickin' TWO IN THE MORNING?" This was my honeymoon for crying out loud, as meager as it was I should have at least of had the luxury of sleeping in to my heart's desire.

To my surprise he was as pissed off as I was.

"Do you think I _like_ waking up before the numbskull robins? NO, I don't OKAY. I would of slept through the morning if it wasn't for your crying-"Wait, I was crying? "-and I hate waking up to nightmares too." He wiped a finger across the evidence of wetness as confirmation.

As if he didn't know what to do about the awkwardness of a crying woman Sano patted me on the head. Like a father attempting to calm a small child. I almost expected the words 'there there' or even 'It's going to be okay' to spew from his mouth, but he didn't. It was reassuring that he didn't try to erase Kenshin's place in my heart, even if it meant he could stake his claim.

"Come on, let's go back to sleep." His arms encircled me, cradling and protective.

Gentle, that was the best way to describe Sano.

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><p><strong>AN- **So was it good? Do you hate me yet? Is it worthy of a review? Is it even worthy of some flames? :3


	5. Stupid Simple

**A/N-** Yay! New chapter :D I'm sorry that it takes me so long to update, but not that many people read it...so I guess I'm off the hook! I also feel obligated to inform you guys (If anyone's reading this...) that there won't be a update in June because I will be out of the country!

Also Sano is not actually a ninja.

Also there is MATURE LANGUAGE- mostly from Sano.

I've finished rambling now. Enjoy.

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><p>Up. Down. Up. Down. In. Out. In. Out. Breathe. Exhale. Breathe. Exhale. Thirty minutes had passed and Kaoru's breathing had steadied. Conclusion, she was fast asleep.<p>

With the stealth of an experienced ninja I slipped out from under the comforter and started the cautious trek to the door. I never bothered to even think why I was taking such precautions to leave Kaoru undisturbed when I could of just explained my three-AM excursion as one of those awkward necessities of life. Probably because the last thing I needed was more guilt over lying to her.

Easing open the door my blood turned frigid when the door lock clicked and Kaoru mumbled something unintelligible. She didn't stir again and I let out a breath of relief.

Why I put myself through such pains for a girl? I stopped trying to understand the power of _love._ It was just stupid simple.

Walking out on our balcony I shivered in the cool air, but at least it woke me up. Landing with a '_whump' _on the balcony's couch I relaxed for a minute before searching the cracks between the couch mattresses for something. Discovering the object of my attention I eased out the cell phone from the cushions

Squinting from the electronic glare I searched my contacts for **DRINKING PARTNER**. Last thing I needed was for Kaoru to find this phone and notice **HIMURA KENSHIN** as my recently called and only contact. That would spell disaster and possible castration. Avoiding castration was definitely preferable.

Why was I even doing this when I would lose either way? If I just 'accidently dropped the cell down the balcony or into toilet.' I would be able to sever all contact with Kenshin with just one mishap. I could just continue living my happily ever after with a wife whom I love, who wakes up at sporadic intervals crying for another man. Yep, that sounded totally doable…

Throwing aside my previous hesitance I steeled myself and called him.

Eight rings had passed. I nervously tapped my fingers. Nine. Maybe I should hang up. Ten. Eleven. Twelve.

"Hello?" Relief was released through a long sigh. "Sano, are you there?"

"Yes." Why did he seem so concerned? I wasn't the one in constant threat of death all of the time.

"How much does Kaoru hate me?" Direct and clear. Kenshin wasn't a man of awkward pauses and always went straight to the point. For a moment I was tempted to beat it and disappear for real this time.

"Please Sano, I need to know. I just need to know." The urgency of his pleading blew away my demons, Kenshin never begged. Hiko had pounded it into his had that men should be proud. Pride should only be thrown away for the ones you loved. Hiko also saw fit to indoctrinate me with his beliefs, though I generally incorporated his ideas into fistfights.

It must have been killing him not knowing about Kaoru, even more that holding on to his 'man pride' as Hiko so delicately put it.

Not knowing how many tears she shed, if she bitterly cursed his name every night, if maybe, just maybe she still loved him. _Just to keep her safe._ I thought bitterly.

"Do you really want to know? What will that bit of information do for you? To make you feel even guiltier? No matter what happens-how much we try- someone always gets hurt..." I growled back. Kaoru was already bruised and broken, the last thing Kenshin needed was to lose his nerve and come racing home without finishing the job he set out to do.

"Why couldn't you of told her just a part of it? Just to make her understand, not enough to be in danger? Do you particularly enjoy the feeling of guilt? Just finish your case and come home, please." I couldn't really tell if I was seething or pleading. It was just pure emotion.

Kenshin was the type of person who shouldered the entire weight of the burden, the guilt, the worry, everything. That man would work himself fifty feet under the ground if it meant atoning for his sins. He was one of those selfless nimrods that people wanted to hate. Too bad those types of nimrods were always clean.

"Stop being such a righteous asshole and fucking tell me!" he roared. Kenshin rarely spoke over, he never cussed though. You could tell he was about to disembowel a person when he started cursing. Roaring was just unheard of.

Seeming to notice my open jaw, even over the phone he gave a snort. "What? I curse plenty, my job requires it now. Clean-mouthed criminals are a dying breed now." His voice drawled with dry humor. "I am human you know."

"Of course I know. Remember how you were scared of the dark until fourteen or that one time when you got stuck in a tree and cried until Uncle Hiko got a ladder and carried you down or-"I was prepared to continue with increasingly embarrassing childhood memories until I was interrupted.

"Okay! I get it. I was a pretty pathetic excuse for a person back then."

I sniggered at the pathetic excuse for a person. It was nice bringing Kenshin back down to earth back down to the ground with the rest of us plebeians.

"Kenshin can you just being a masochist and drop it? I know for a fact that Kaoru will give you plenty of crap for it when you come home, so just leave it." I snapped the last bit. I wish it was easier to hate Kenshin, if only he was a hateable person. Damn him for being such a saint. Damn me for wanting to play on an even field.

"Love knows no reason. You should know that best, right? After all I wasn't the one who agreed to marry the women I love when you know that she'd only come kicking and screaming." If it was anyone but Kenshin there would have been a snide edge.

"So what's so bad that you can't tell me?" He inquired. Crap, we were back on topic. "Did she yell about how much she hated you, or confess that she could never love you like that? Did she tell you how you were basically her brother?-"Now Kenshin was pulling out his inner sadist.

"Do you really want-"I was hesitant.

"-to know? Yes." he finished.

"Fine." If he wanted to cut his heart open then so be it.

"Thank you." He breathed.

"When you first left she refused to leave her room for three days because everything reminded her of **you.** She cried everyday for a solid week. Even chopsticks manage to remind her of **you.** And tonight-" I let out a hollow laugh recalling the event. "-and tonight she woke up crying, crying for you to come home, crying for you not to leave again."

If this wasn't hurting Kenshin, then it sure was tearing my heart open at the seams.

"There's more, isn't there?" the words came tumbling out of his mouth seemed to regret every syllable. Good. That meant Kaoru wasn't holding onto nothing. That also meant I had competition.

Nope, Kaoru had to fall head over heels, heart wrenchingly in love for the smart one. Not the dimwit. But then I was the dimwit, so I guess that was understandable.

"Yeah, there's more. I guess." It was strange how easily that confession came out. "But I'm not going to tell you."

I know it was childish withholding information, but arguing with Kenshin was like a favorite past time and cemented our friendship. Now it only aggravated him.

"Sano." He began. "I will shave your head in your sleep and use a black Sharpie on your eyes to make sure you look like Anji." And sadist Kenshin was back. Boy was he a jerk.

"Calm your hashes bro." I parroted my brother-in-law. "Besides, I'm not the one who should be telling you. Kaoru should." I finished softly.

"So you're telling me that after I finish my dangerous, possibly life ending-"his voice lowered a notch. "-street work-" I wouldn't exactly call going undercover to bust Shishio Makoto , the biggest arms dealer in Kyoto, and avenging his parents mere street work, but I doubt Kenshin would be idiotic enough to announce it to the world.

He continued despite my mental side note. "–not knowing whether I should come back to Kaoru, not knowing whether she'll greet me with a smile and open arms or come at me with her father's katana?" I cringed at his inquiring tone and the thought of Kaoru and Kenshin embracing.

Maybe cringing at the redhead being hacked to bloody pieces by Kaoru would be better for my heart, but them hugging sure was more realistic.

"Sano, perhaps I shouldn't come back. I'm not wanted. I can't do anything. I can't do anything but make her cry. I don't make her happy. I can't make her happy." Under every stoic person was a torrent of insecurities. Kaoru was just the tip of his iceberg. If I didn't talk him down right now he'd end up doing an asshole move with good intentions.

"Listen, don't be an asshole. You already left once. Don't you dare disappear again. At least HAVE the balls to explain WHY YOU LEFT. "My nails cut into the flesh of my palm. It looked like a half crescent human bite mark. Ever without knowing it Kenshin was truly an asswipe.

"Listen ginger, if you love her you **will** come back." There was a silence, but I knew it was in agreement. "No matter what, you **have** to come back. I miss my best friend."

It was getting late and I held back a head-splitting yawn.

In reality Himura Kenshin wasn't my best friend, he was the closest thing to a brother possible. Granted, the possibility of having biological, even half siblings was impossible.

After the combination of my father and two younger siblings in a car colliding with a drunk driver on a rainy day, just a mention of remarriage, even a slip of the tongue had Mother brandishing a cleaver at the callous shit head. A couple years later the subject became an obscure notion, an undeniable taboo.

"I promise. I will come back." There was a grim determination. "And Sano, I'm sorry that I asked you-"Polite, well-mannered and apologetic, that sounded nothing like him.

"-to what? Protect Kaoru? I'm the one who jumped at the chance." I grinned at my unorthodox method.

"Until we meet again?" Now clear and unwavering. _That's more like it._

"Just come back alive."

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><p>So? Is it worth a review?<p> 


	6. Morning Light

**a/n- **Okay I lied, I found time to squeeze in one more chapter. Little to none mature language :D Thanks to ChocoBerry for her lovely reviews.

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><p>Sano POV<p>

There was certain heaviness in my limbs that I could only explain as late-night fatigue. I t took a few moments before I was completely lucid. Only after did I notice the precarious situation I was in.

On one arm Kaoru had subconsciously deemed as her pillow, the other traitorous devious appendage was over her back, cradling her protectively. I thought this only happened in movies, but our legs were a tangled mess, a mix of tan and tanner skin. I could stay in this moment for a lifetime, an eternity. I could die happy right here right now.

"Kenshin?" a soft voice called out. _That certainly hurt._ "Ken-"I winced, waiting for her to discover the true identity of the man she was calling out for.

"-Sano?" _I'm screwed-I'm going to die-Kaoru will murder me- fuuuuc- _

"Sano." Her voice wasn't questioning this time. She said my name in confirmation, to make sure I was really there. As if to affirm my questionable existence she buried herself deeper into my chest.

I tried to steady my breathing but my mutinous lungs wanted more. My intakes of air could be heard loud and clear. If she woke up now and misjudged the situation then my balls would be the first casualty, then my head. As much as I loved having my 'wife' pressed against me, my balls were not collateral damage.

Pressing my back deeper into the mattress I tried to wriggle out from under Kaoru. Gravity pulled her down with me. My escape attempt resulted in fruitlessness; there was no way of getting up without her waking up.

The hilarity of this event was laughingly ironic.

A year ago I would have willingly given my right arm just to get her to look at me like she looked at Kenshin, and now here I was, sharing a bed, on my second time of leaving it in ten hours. I lot has changed in a year.

I needed to try again before she woke up. This time I tried to shift her off by propping myself up with my elbows and trying to slide off her upper body down, gently. Her hair was splayed everywhere and tickled my stomach.

I loved the way her skin looked against mine. I loved how she was short and had a small chest. I loved how she inherited Hiko's black hair, scary glare, and penchant for grudges. I loved how she inherited her mother's bright blue eyes, understanding nature, and penchant for overreacting. Certainly there were many unlovable aspects about Kaoru, but I was so enchanted that I probably loved the least enduring characteristics.

In response to my movement her arms flailed out and latched onto the nearest object-me.

Before my internal strings of profanity could begin, her eyes opened. The flash of blue froze my thoughts.

There was a moment of dream soaked calmness before reality washed over like a roaring wave. It felt chilling and exhilarating.

Instead of screaming at the top of her lungs and kneeing me in my nuts, she blushed. This was a good sign.

"Good morning honey."

"G-good Moro-morning." her stuttering speech matched her blush in emotion. She was so flustered that her brain didn't even register that I called her 'honey', maybe next time I would try my luck with 'love'.

With a cat-like grace she unwound our intertwined bodied and slinked off to the bathroom, I was reluctant to see her go. Here elegance was shattered by a resounding noise of impact subsequently followed by an f-bomb. It was nice that I could unhinge a girl that much.

Kaoru was probably going to spend the next half hour putting on a mask of indifference to avoid the topic. I guess it couldn't hurt to try my hand at cooking.

Kaoru POV

Sitting on the toilet trying my best not to hyperventilate was pathetic. Deep breathes, breathe. My cheeks were so flushed that a lobster would laugh. Slapping my cheeks I tried to recollect what had happened.

_Did I wake up one or two times? Three. The first was because of a nightmare? I remembered waking up, Sano woke me up. He didn't tell me it was going to be okay, but he stayed with me until I fell asleep. And then what happened? Then I woke up again. Everything was so clear, except who else was in the bed. Then I drifted off. I was falling so I caught myself. Then I woke up. What was I missing, why were there blanks? Why were we so close? Maybe I moved a lot in my sleep. _

Splashing my face with lukewarm water I resolved myself to ask Sano, but first I needed to brush my teeth.

Strange, Sano wasn't in the bedroom-at least this meant I could change in peace. I walked over to an open box of clothing and rummaged around. Locating my outfit for the day I made a mental note to unpack and use my new closet today.

Pulling my tank top over my head I discarded it in my laundry basket. I wriggled on a neon orange sports bra, just because my boobs were inadequate didn't mean I was going commando with Sano around.

Closing my eyes I tugged a t-shirt with a yellow eyed wolf on. The t-shirt in question was made of soft black cotton and marginally oversized. The image of the wolf was fading. I figured that since I wasn't planning on taking a step out the pajama shorts could stay on.

Stepping in front of a tall antiqued mirror, I combed out my hair with my fingers and started to French braid that was braided over my right shoulder. My hair was fairly long, but God forbid it reach my butt crack. That would just be ridiculous.

Looking back towards the mirror I checked my reflection and smoothed over my shirt. The wolf stared back at me.

Why? It was a question that never stopped reoccurring, like the relentless pounding of a storm. Why did I hold onto a useless bundle of fabric? Why. Why. Why?

Of course I knew why, it just hurt less to act clueless. I loved the fading wolf because it was Kenshin's, before he gave it to me. I was so reluctant to part with it because I wanted to hold onto something, even if there is nothing.

What was that smell? Curiously I made my way to the kitchen, maybe Sano was burning something. If that was the case then I'd probably be living off of takeout for the rest of my life, a grim thought indeed.

"Good morning, Princess."

"Nice to see you too, rooster-head."

Like the gentleman he wasn't, he pulled out a chair and gestured for me to sit. After I sat I noticed his cooking endeavors.

Flat, spherical, drizzled with amber syrup, slightly burned on one side-overall they were decent pancakes-much more skill than I could boast.

"Are you stunned by my natural-born talent?" he gloated with pride and held his head high.

"Natural-born talent, my ass." I snorted. "A baboon could cook better then you."

"Good luck getting a monkey to cook for you." He slid the plate away from my reach. Cocky dipstick.

"Perhaps it'll be hard to find a baboon. I guess your cooking is the next best thing to a primate's." The plate was returned to its rightful place.

"So were there any casualties in the kitchen?" I teased, not really expecting anything other than an indignant answer.

"Sure was!" he held up a charred spatula cheerily for my inspection. It was burned crumbly black from tip to handle. Thank God it was wooden, not plastic. Last thing I wanted was for the Tokyo Fire Department at my door for once again endangering the peace and sanctity of my fellow citizens.

"What did you do?" I felt like a mother asking my six year old why he pulled the cat's tail.

"Uh as you can see I burned the flipper machine-"

"Yes, I can see that." Too bad I didn't have the patience of a mother.

"Well I kinda left it on the stove top and forgot to turn the thing off-"I slapped my forehead, I knew where this was going. "- Then it was on fire so I picked it up-"

I started screeching."YOU PICKED IT UP? WITH BARE HANDS?" The deer in the headlights look said it all.

I grabbed his hands, not bothering for an invitation. Dragging the spiky-haired idiot over to the sink I plunged both of his hands into a steady stream of cold water.

"Stay there." I commanded. Not bothering to verify if the idiot had actually listened to me I searched an unpacked cardboard box that had been marked with a messily scrawled label. Fishing out a pastel green jar I promptly chucked it into the sink, if Sano didn't catch it and the plastic cracked I would be pissed.

"What's this for?" his voice echoed instead of metal. I didn't bother answering.

Instead I shut the tap and inspected from the tips of his fingers to the bottom of his palms.

Unscrewing the container I scraped out a glop of the aloe Vera ointment and smeared the clear gel on the angry red patches of skin.

"Sano?"

"Yeah?"

"Did I say anything last night? When I was sleeping?"

"Nope."

"I can't remember what I was dreaming about."

"It'll come back to you."

"Other hand."

"Mkay."

The taste of sweet honey and bitter charred pancake brought it back.

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><p>For the love of unicorns PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW. The lack of reviews is seriously killing my writer's morale. It can be about anything, the plot, my bad grammar, my rampant use of commas, the current weather, ANYTHING.<p> 


	7. Red Undertones

**A/N- I'm still here believe it or not. Funny story- I actually lost the paper that I had written this chapter on three days ago and I was freaking out so badly. After an hour of swearing and looking for it I found it! It nearly gave me a heart attack.**

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><p>I didn't consider myself a perfectionist, but I did prefer to know the framework of my day, just a rough outline would suffice. It made planning much simpler. In my mind today was the day that I wrote thank you letters to the thoughtful wedding gift givers and the complete and utter imbeciles who got me toaster ovens.<p>

Who needed eight toaster ovens? I would just end up returning seven of the eight as rewrapped Christmas presents, and they knew it.

One unlucky sucker would end up with Sano's disgusting charcoal bottomed toaster oven. That thing had been in the family for seven years and Megumi only gave it to Sano to make room for a new one in her home.

Cruel and sadistic? Of course.

It would be much easier on everyone if they could just be helpful and get us something useful, like toilet paper. Toilet paper was a perfect present, completely acceptable. I mean it wasn't like I was ever going to cease my usage of toilet paper, and move onto leaves anytime soon.

Even Misao jumped onto the 'idiot bandwagon', she was the one who gave me the ridiculously ornate chopsticks that were way too heavy to easily use. Aoshi was a weak man whenever it came to his woman, I bet he just closed his eyes and handed her the credit card. He was completely and utterly pussy-whipped.

Damn, out of the two hundred who came, sixty idiots were just downright childish; when it was their turn to be married I would be buying a lot of Viagra.

Deep down I accepted partial fault for being too lazy to write a list of acceptable items, but at least I had the excuse over being distraught for being forced to marry my best friend. Sano had no such excuse, he was delighted.

Flipping through thank you cards I stopped when I came across one with kitten illustrations. Tae liked cats, she and her twin, Sae, had three grumpy adorable fluff balls. I clicked my favorite black pen and hunched over the desk ready to start gushing on how much I appreciated the glass Tupperware.

After finishing my salutation- THUNK!

"Kaoru, you don't need to fly out of your seat." Of course he didn't even seem to be the slightest bit apologetic. That was the problem with all of my friends.

"What the hell was that for?"

I was standing now, if he didn't explain soon shit would hit the fan. Not only did he throw a picnic basket at my head, but he threw a FULLY stocked picnic basket at my head. The dimwit had the good sense to exclude glassware and ceramics, but it had a hefty weight that could have given me a concussion.

I was ready to kill him.

I want to go on a picnic with you." His sincere tone seemed to have absolutely no recollection of the past thirty seconds. He almost sounded excited to go out.

"I'm not going on a picnic with you. I actually have things I need to do." I admonished. Okay I admitted picnic did sound nice and romantic, but I was still too pissed off from the bump on my head.

My curt shut down was answered with a twitchy eye spasm.

"What do you mean?" His stance was stiff and rigid, if I didn't know any better he was just going to knock me unconscious and drag me out on this stupid 'date of his.

And that was just what he did. Bastard.

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><p><strong>Yeah I admit it's kinda a bland, really short filler chapter. I promise the next chapter will be a looot more interesting.<strong>

**Please Review! Reviews are like sugar cubes to me :D**


	8. Sticky Honey

**A/N**- Oh gosh, its October already! I'm still alive, just very...busy. I'm sorry if this chapter is boring, its more filler-esque. Its just this school year is definitely more stressful and I'm trying to take on more than one thing at a time.

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><p>Not only did he give me an aching head injury and forcibly remove me from my home, but the bastard had the gall to pull the 'it was for your own good' line.<p>

"The sooner you stop pouting the sooner we can actually have fun." He whined like a child, an overgrown child to be exact. I swear my veins in my forehead were throbbing. "Come onnn! You can do all that boring old people stuff later. This is **our** honeymoon, our only honeymoon. It's not like either of us are getting remarried anytime soon." He was an overgrown child with a point.

In the beginning both of us agreed not to have a formal honeymoon, it was beyond our comfort levels and the thought of sharing a heart shaped bed made me wretch. Not him, but just the sheer amount of red velvet that would be present. Ew.

"It's just a date, no strings attached. I swear to you that there'll be no regret. Can't I do one thing. Just one? For you?"

He grabbed my left hand cupping his over mine, brought his lips to my ring and kissed it. The action, a soft peck that left a tiny residue of moisture, was followed by a gaze that left me a little breathless.

It wasn't him looking into my eyes at the right moment; it was him looking at me with those eyes. The eyes of someone so utterly in love, that I couldn't help but soften my heart. If only a little. Mother-in-law used to have those eyes all the time, now they were different. Father had those eyes when he looked through old pictures; he tended to look at me with a different one, a softer look.

"Fine." I snapped and pulled away, tearing my hand from his, instantly severing the intimate connection.

~time gap~ ~elevator music~

"Are we there yet?"

I admit I was just as whiney as Sano, but I at least had a good reason for my grumpiness. After being shoved into a claustrophobic train with my face stuffed full of armpits, then dragged towards a likewise cramped public bus.

That lucky urchin-head towered over the common person. It was already bad enough that I was fun-sized, but now I had to stand next to a literal tree. Instant miget-ization.

From what I had grasped we were heading off the map, sparsely populated, small gem of a town that just had the most perfect scenery and a streak of vicious mosquitos.

Sano had made a point of smothering on a layer of repelling lotion onto himself, then attempting to coat me. Much to my irritation. It didn't smell like rain drops and roses, it smelled like death by plastic.

Then he brought out the package of anti-mosquito stickers. I swear, if he had brought the bulk package then he would've proceeded to stick one on every bare square inch of skin. But alas he had to settle with one for each appendage with the to-go packet. Those poor bloodsuckers, deprived of their AB negative and O positive.

Honestly I wasn't that stoked, I mean sure – I bet the view would be absolutely breath taking, but it was just another view.

Nothing to fall in love over. Nothing to forget love over. I was too bitter for my own good.

It was just a simple date.

"It's just around the corner!"

"There are no corners out here!" I screamed back.

The last tug on my arm left me a little breathless and when I looked up, I understood why he was in such a hurry.

There was a flock of cranes fleeing the moment. Powerful black-tipped wings beating against the wind, determined to fight. I was too distracted to notice the fact that he had started setting up. By the time the flock had escaped the horizon; checkered blanket and cutlery had been laid out.

"So bento or tea first?" he asked. Like it was even a question.

"Bento." We both answered.

~elevator music~

Perfect moments had less than perfect endings; ours was falling from the sky.

I remember telling a young boy that I loved him in a rain like this. _ Leaning over and whispering in his ear, pulling back blushing, running away before he could catch me. Getting caught meant finding out an answer. I didn't want to hear the wrong answer. When I looked back he mouthed three words to me – it used to be my best day ever. _

Unpleasant memories just seemed to stick like honey.

This new memory was ended with a kiss on the forehead and a rush to pack the basket. Not sure which one I really preferred.

There was nothing better than the smell of wet clothes in a crowded metro. Nothing better.

-boring, crowded, smelly train ride-

Hands down, getting out of the shower after being cold and stinky seemed to satisfy every problem. Poor Sano had to wait until I was finished with the hot water.

Wrapping a towel around my mane of wet hair I checked myself over for decency. All seemed clear, nothing inappropriate peaking out.

"Oi! The shower's clear! SANO!"

Strangely, there was no reply. Walking into the living room I saw him out on the balcony.

"Hey, shower's open." I called out.

His face didn't seem to register any of my words. His face was just blank.

"Huh? It is? Kay thanks."

Still on the phone he made his way to the bedroom to get clothes.

I didn't think much more of it and when the sound of water hit the wall, I was already back into writing those darn thank-you letters.

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><p>Review? Pretty Please?<p> 


	9. That guy'

A/N Um well this is... but new chapter!

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><p>"Don't sit on the furniture!" She yelled in a sing-song voice.<p>

I scoffed, as if I would be that stupid, please, even I knew not to sit on good furniture when I was sopping wet; especially since I was the one who paid for it. Instead, like a well-mannered dog, I went to my favorite place, the balcony. I smiled, running my hand through my hair in an attempt to resuscitate my spikes. I clearly wasn't successful when they drooped back down to my forehead.

_Why did I have to marry the one woman who was determined to leech every bit of warmth from the shower? _Of course it was out of love. _What less could I ask?_

Fishing out the ever guilt inducing mobile from the cushions I checked out my missed calls. Strangely enough there were seventeen, all in the span of my six hour date. Weird. It wasn't like Kenshin to call like an obsessive girlfriend. So with a feeling of half dread and half curiosity I called back.

I didn't even hear the first ring when **he** picked up. The devil personified.

" DAMMIT YOU URCHIN HEAD! I've been calling you since eight in the morning. Do you know how many voice mails I've left you?!" a husky voice barked out. I almost dropped the phone I complete shock.

"Saito? What-why are you using Kenshin's phone? A-"before I could finish squinty eyes cut in. "-listen there's not much time for K-"

"Oi! Shower's clear! SANO!"

"-Sano, who else is there?" Saito inquired.

"Just Kaoru, wait a sec." I answered.

"Hey, shower's open." Kaoru called out. She seemed vaguely impatient.

"Huh? It is?" She nodded. I tried to wipe all evidence of shock from my face. I was taking deep breaths to steady my emotions and succeeded in making my reply steady. "Kay thanks."

Honestly I was so out of it that my face almost met the bedroom door.

I turned on the shower head, skimming the edge of the torrent with my fingers. Not even the littlest bit lukewarm.

"Saito it is safe to talk now." I enunciated every word; the prick had a habit of pretending to misunderstand me.

"The mission is complete." I breathed out in relief, loudly.

"So why'd you find the need to call so many times?" I licked my lips nervously. There was either bad news or worse news. Good news would just be expecting too much.

"Kenshin's in surgery. He got shot in a tricky spot and the doctors think they can remove it with little danger." Saito was trying to keep his voice neutral.

"What's his chances?" I muttered, not even believing this was really happening.

"Lower than we'd like to hear." That meant less than seventy five.

"What . Are. His. Chances?" I grit out clenching my fingers.

"He'll most likely survive the surgery, buts it's the after care that worries the doctors most." His grim tone was hinting at something darker.

"Did he miss the kill shot or something? I thought you said that the mission was complete!?" I cursed under my breath. Shishio would be out for blood, it wouldn't matter whose head he got. Any betrayal would paint the city red. An undercover cop made up for a worse aftermath than a rival member infiltrating. Especially with Kenshin's uncanny ability to climb to the top. The monster would take it as a personal betrayal.

"No, three shots to the throat, one to the chest, and one in his forehead protector. Shishio never saw it coming, but by the time we had it under control the most dangerous ones had already slinked off. I'm just here to keep him company, you know-in case he has some unexpected friends." Saito susurrated.

I hissed back, afraid of the answer. "

"So does that mean its over?"

What? The need to protect Kaoru or your sham of a marriage?" His words both blunt and piercing made me cringe. What made me really cower in fear would be when she found out-well everything. With her tendency to overreact; she would label this a full-fledged conspiracy against her.

"HehHehnnnnn um both?" My voice was trailing because I really didn't know what to say.

"Fool! If you want her forgiveness, then get on your hands and knees and beg for it! If you want her then use your means to woo her! Women are such fickle creatures that if you let them slip through your hands you'll have to pay an arm and leg just to get them to look at you once more! Listen, I know that when the stitches are out and his body can handle the strain; Kenshin will be on the ground pleading for forgiveness."

I knew what Saito meant. When the shit finally hit the fan Kenshin would beg like a dog until she gave in. Whatever space I had managed to occupy in her heart would be vacated without hesitation. And one awkward divorce later we would go back to whatever it was before.

"I just want her to be happy." I said these words with an aching mouth.

"Bull. You want to please everyone else. You love her more than yourself and don't want to compete with Kenshin. So you'll just take a step back into the wallpaper and let those two unite like long lost lovers. That's a great plan. But do you** know** what it's going to do to you?"

There was a short pause before he caught his breath and went on.

"I will be the unfortunate one who will be dragging your plastered ass out of the bar. If it's not me then Aoshi will be the one. It will eat you alive, those chances that you were too scared to take."

I really didn't expect Saito to be that 'pull yourself together' kind of guy but when it started coming from him you had a right to feel worried.

"Saito, what am I supposed to do?" I questioned, desperate for a straight answer.

"Be honest and live with the aftermath."

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><p>So any really awkward spelling mistakes?<p>

Do you care to review?

Pretty please with a albino squirrel on top?


	10. Silent Coward

**A/N- **Sorry! I meant to update sooner but I had exams two weeks ago and they were just brutal. Thanks to PrettyChelsea, FrenchieLeigh and Strong D for reviews! You guys are great.

Would it be awkward to ask you not to expect too much of this chapter?

**Warnings**- Swearing, unnoticed spelling mistakes and disappointment.

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><p>Kaoru POV<p>

Hospitals were always bad news. Just think about it, even if the person whom you were visiting was alive, another even three rooms away could be fighting the reaper. I was a bit of a selfish friend and tended to avoid going. Instead I usually sent someone else in my stead with a six pack of beer. When I had no idea who we were even visiting it freaked me out even more.

"Seriously Sano! Tell me who we're visiting!" I scream-whispered. Sano put his hand over my mouth in an attempt to shush me. I just slapped it aside. "God no-it was Yahiko wasn't it? That stupid kid got in an accident. He wasn't wearing his helmet. Was he? Dammit. Always playing around on that stupid motorcycle. He called you first probably…"

I rambled on, unaware that I was being pulled swiftly through the hospital.

"Shhhhh its okay." Sano whispered in a soothing way. "Kaoru he's fine- he's okay."

I didn't understand how he could weave through the halls this quickly, like this wasn't the first time.

_Has this fucker already been here before? Don't tell me he's been here before?_

Everyone kept their own secrets and I understood that well. But if this had something to do with my little brother that it was understood that the rule was nullified. It must of been my feminine intuition, but the gears in my head wouldn't stop turning.

Yahiko, being the spineless twerp he was; must of called Sano instead. _That's who he was on the phone with! That was why he was so distracted!_ When I got my hands on him- and Sano! I chuckled a little thinking about all the shit that he was going to get from me. He would never see it coming.

Quick as a flash, as if those fourteen minutes of anxiety never occurred we stopped walking. Second floor, room twenty two-B.

Before I could open the door Sano grabbed my wrist."Please don't start yelling." _How could I not yell at Yahiko from telling Sano to keep this from me?_"He still has stitches and nurses want to keep the excitement level low." Sano begged.

"Stitches!" I shrieked. "He has stitches!" I was only a pitch shy from hysterical. "He's got plenty to be excited about!" Now I had certainly reached that classification.

I couldn't wait any longer and yanked the last barrier down.

A shock of red hair and a familiar squinty eyed bastard in the corner. It didn't dawn on me that-

**"Kenshin. Kenshin. Kenshin.**"

–I was the one so pitifully calling his name. I took a few steps and stopped. My hands were over my mouth trying to stop the gasps. This world was swimming in tears. The cornerstone that I had lost and replaced was in front of me. Well replaced would be a laughable description. More like a completely different rock crudely shoved into the gap before collapse could commence.

And like a fool in love I ran away because I couldn't bear to see the truth.

Later that evening I arrived at Misao's apartment with two suitcases; the large one with clothing and essentials and the smaller one with memories.

It didn't take much more than a look to see who I was and a second to notice the red face and watery eyes; for Misao to wordlessly let me in.

Saito POV

"Don't feel bad Kenshin. I bet it was just the shock of seeing you so unannounced. I bet she'll come back to chew you out soon enough."

"You mean you didn't_ bother to tell her_." Was the flat reply. Even Kenshin sounded a bit put out by Sano.

This was torture; watching a kicked dog licking the wound of another snarling one. Despite my pains of telling the urchin to take the first step; he continued to throw away perfectly good advice.

Of course Kenshin was no better. The idiot was determined to become a martyr and this whole fiasco could have been avoided had he just listened to me and placed her in protective custody.

Honestly Kaoru deserved better than these asses. Those two twits could keep each other company.

"Urchin head. I trust you to look after Smokey here."

Before the twit could protest I sent a scathing glare.

"The dangers have faded considerably since Yumi has fled to China and I'm tired of babysitting. I miss my Tokio." I really shouldn't of but it was hard to resist kicking the dog. "Besides, I'm pretty sure she made it clear, but Kaoru won't want to see you tonight."

And my job was done. It was far more entertainment to be the sadistic bastard than the sympathetic friend and both angles got the message across. Honestly there were only so many chances you could give before your patience wore thin and trust was worth jack shit.

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><p>If you've had the patience to read up to chapter 10 of this fanfic then I'm certain you have the patience to leave a review. I'm sorry if this comes off bitchy but its supposed to.<p> 


	11. Way Too Many MushyGushy Feelings

Hey- Sorry, I've been way too distracted. Read, review, enjoy, whatever suits you best.

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><p>After the 'incident' I had more or less made myself at home in Misao's apartment.<p>

She had assured me that Aoshi was okay with his arrangement, but he appeared gloomier than usual. When I asked Misao about it she waved it off as blue balls- apparently she wasn't the screamer.

"Misao, I am not going to just sit down and let him talk himself out of the situation." I mumbled from my current position on the couch.

"Kaoru, if he pulls the crocodile tears again, you most certainly will. You'll have to talk sometime." She paused to sip the lip of her tea. "As much as Aoshi and I love having you here, it's be impossible for you to live your entire life in our guest room." She pointed out.

"I can as long as you'll let me." I muttered towards the ground, knowing just how disgruntled and inconvenienced Aoshi really was. She seemed to ignore my comment.

"Besides no matter who you pick no one will judge, they'll un-"

I cut in before she could go on.

"NO they won't. They'll hate me for it and I think I'll hate myself too." I looked down, as if I had a sudden vested intrest in the quilt's fringe. I couldn't meet her eyes. "You're lucky, all you've ever wanted was Aoshi and the feelings are mutual. That path will never change. I thought I was like that too. All I wanted was for Kenshin to look down and notice me. He was all I could see, even though I knew Sano was looking." I gulped. "I hurt him because honestly, I didn't care. I didn't give a damn that he and Kenshin were best friends. I didn't care that Kenshin was too dense to notice Sano had feelings for me. If he had known then he would of backed off. But I was selfish and finally getting what I wanted. It 's my faul-"

Slap!

I stared ahead, clutching my smarting cheek. Misao looked angry- furious.

"How dare you! Don't paint yourself out to be the slut. My best friend deserves better than that."

Misao stared straight at me, her eyes challenging me to contradict her.

"Kenshin knew alright! He knew and it killed him! And he didn't start reciprocating your feelings until Sano had gotten the message and backed off! It's his own fucking fault for not making a move and believing he's still allowed to pine over you like this! All three of you are idiots! Kenshin for leaving, Sano for being a coward and you." Misao looked ready to slap me again. "Letting yourself love others before loving yourself." she whispered before holding my cheeks.

Placing her forehead on mine she listened to my dry sobs. For the rest of the night we sat on the couch. Me rambling and her patiently listening. Until the morning when we both woke again. I was bundled in another layer of blanket and Misao, in the arms of her beloved.


	12. No Reason For Concern

"I understand you need time to think, but the rest of this… this isn't healthy." My father gestured for a loss of words. He loved me, but being the stoic man he was, my actions were unfathomable.

For three weeks life was Chinese takeout and American style pizza, looking at the messages on my phone, but never bothering to call back, huddled in my mother's quilt in front of the warm glow of my laptop. I only left my room to use the restroom, freshen up, and pay the delivery boy.

"What are you even reading?" He asked cautiously. He'd seen glimpses and I knew that he knew, he would not like it.

"BL." I almost choked.

"What?! Do I even want to know?"

"Only that it's the purest form of love." I quipped.

He sighed and shut the door behind him. I just pulled my knees to my chest and pulled the quilt tighter over my shoulders.

I left Misao and Aoshi's home after a while. Turns out Aoshi was in the know and through the law of equality and the couple-ness of soul mates, so was Misao. I left in the same fury that I came.

_You knew! I screamed. Like always, she held her ground. "You knew and you kept this from me!"_

__With my suitcase and wrath I confronted my father. Of course he knew, I cursed myself. How could he not? Kenshin reported to my father, along with Sano, Saito, and indirectly Aoshi.

I was the singing bird in the gilded cage. Only this time I was caterwauling.

I understood that it was his job to keep secrets from me, but he always put his duty as father second.

He was right though, hermit-cy wasn't suitable for someone my age. For my father who retreated into the mountains to make pottery once a year, my actions were incomprehensible.

It was time to put an end to this. Twisting the gold and around my finger- the symbol of a promise far too heavy to keep- I reached for my cell phone.

* * *

><p>AN- Hey I'm back . thank you to anyone who's still reading this. School's starting again so... we may not meet for a long time.


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